Shut up about your long-term growth.

If I wanted paper profits, I’d buy a Monopoly board!

If you don’t understand why seemingly good news means bad news for stocks, you can find out with my simple game.

The definitive answer to the age-old question.

The CLARITY Act was in the news this week, causing a Bitcoin breakout!

Will they pass it?

Won’t they pass it?

Honestly, it doesn’t really matter. The real question is…

Do you want to read 30 single-spaced pages of a shareholder letter?

No way.

So this is…

Is it:

A) Peace in the Middle East

B) A new economic policy of the president

C) A technical golden cross over resistance

D) Tesla missing expectations on quarterly earnings

With all the hyperscalers reporting their earnings, let’s take a look and see who is crushing it and who will bankrupt themselves with too big of an AI spend.

How to insider trade?

Isn’t that illegal?

Not anymore!

It’s been a year since K-Pop Demon Hunters and Wall Street is saying the stock ain’t Golden.

So what has this streamer in the Upside Down?

Then I’m sure you’re familiar with the lingo:

“That’s cap.” 

But what stocks are the fraudiest frauds in the market right now?

Happy Independence Day! Welcome to The July Four. I hope you just finished chowing down on some hot dogs and watching some fireworks, as the Founding Fathers intended. These are the four best stocks you can buy right now, in July.

Did you see crypto is down more than 50% the past twelve months?

Never a better time for the hardest diss track since Hit ‘Em Up.

Hold on to your butts because we got a five-way battle for market supremacy featuring the five most valuable companies in the world:

Nvidia vs. Google vs. Apple vs. Microsoft vs. SpaceX

At the Schmoozeletter, we know that more important than being smart is sounding smart. That’s why we’re dropping another edition of the hottest series since the Fibonacci sequence.

We are a mere week from the most anticipated IPO in financial entertainment.

Elon and the anti-investor cretins at the Nasdaq have it structured for this thing to run for the first two weeks.

Jerome.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways…

The biggest finance news of the week was that Elon’s SpaceX did its first public filing, and it is juicy!

Let’s go to Space… X.

Has he been a stellar CEO and taken the original meme stock to the moon since becoming forehead honcho?

No.

Do you know when you can retire?

Do you know what your retirement portfolio should look like?

Do you only know Roth as the front man from Van Halen?

You might not fancy yourself a chart reader, but does the following daily chart of the stock price of Avis Budget Group, ticker symbol CAR, look normal to you?