You might not fancy yourself a chart reader, but does the following daily chart of the stock price of Avis Budget Group, ticker symbol CAR, look normal to you?

Biology is pretty neat. Technology is what gives me all my favorite gizmos.

WARNING: Their goal is to take your money!

Investing can be really simple:

Buy a low-cost market index fund every two weeks when your paycheck hits.

Boom. Done. Follow this one sentence and you’ll be set for life in thirty years.

Boring!

Do you hear that?

It’s the winds of change…

Are you a parking ticket… because those growth grades have “fine” written all over them!

Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful. 

Personally, I prefer the sayings:

It comes with fries
Or
I’m not going to finish this; do you want it?

Dave, these Schmoozeletters are too long. Dave, there are too many words to read. Dave, you’re too good-looking. What do you want me to do? Analyze a company using only pictures?

If you are a fan of the show Shark Tank like I am, you know they follow a similar formula. An entrepreneur comes in with a “life-changing” product and waxes poetic about how much money it is going to make. 

Eventually, the sharks get to the all-important question:

“Great, what are your sales?”

How about $143 million…

This is the third annual Schmoozeletter VICIversary! Woo! Party hats and noisemakers. March 9th, 2023, was my first-ever purchase of everyone’s favorite real estate investment trust, VICI Properties. Three years ago, I entered the VICIverse at $33 per share. 

“But Dave?!” you say. “$33 per share? It is now under $30. Why are you celebrating and not in the town square receiving twenty lashes for your tomfoolery?”

To answer the question of whether AI-related stocks are heading for impending doom, let’s take a look at a smattering and play everyone’s favorite Schmoozeletter game:

Bubble Trouble

You’re a believer. You don’t care what I say. I’m a decel maxxing newb who doesn’t get it. Bitcoin is going to the moon, and I’ll be stuck on earth like the portly fiat bro Keynesian cuck that I am.

Did you know there is a fund where you can get: 

Cash for (Digital) Gold

The similarities with the stock price of META right now and GOOG around this time last year are pretty striking. 

Ooooh baby, we got a fire sale this week!

Tons of amazing assets on discount.

Come on down to the market emporium and scoop up some high-quality compounders for long-term holds.

So let’s play everyone’s favorite Schmoozeletter game:

What the heck happened with precious metals this week, eh?

If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I would not buy you a house
Nope, no illiquid assets for you
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I would not buy you furniture for your house
Get an ottoman at a garage sale and call it a day

By that, of course, I mean President Donald J. Trump is behaving like disgraced former president Richard M. Nixon. 

What did you think I meant?

I’ve seen the future:

So I have the answer to the question asked every January:

What is going to be the top stock this year?

Running back my grammy award winning diss track, Crypto Bonfire.

Buy Low.  Sell High.

Simple as could be. And yet, it goes against human nature.

The exciting investments people want to talk about and join in on are the ones that are UP!

’Twas the week before Christmas and all through the land,

Investors were treated to news of a presidential rebrand.

Trump Media & Technology Group, ticker DJT,

Had been on epic collapse; the whole nation could see,