It’s tech wreck week!

The Nasdaq is getting slaughtered worse than barefoot Bob going against Michael Myers.

The Day of the Dead hit the stock market early, with the tech-heavy QQQ down almost 10% from its highs early this month.

Let’s break down one of the spooky earnings reports that led to the sell-off.

Lots of companies reported quarterly earnings this week!

Some Mr. Market rewarded and some Mr. Market beat over the head with a rubber hose.

Some stock prices are way down at a discount. Some are trading up at a premium.

The stock market is overvalued!

Oh! Johnny Blowhard must have been running discounted cash flow projections, I see.

What do you say when Debbie Downer suddenly thinks she’s Benjamin Graham?

Interesting thought, Ms. Doom and Gloom.

But have you considered:

“The PEG ratio is the lowest it’s been in thirty years!”

You know what the youths like?

Roided-up, douchily coiffed-haired alpha male types and gambling on crypto.

Nvidia is the biggest company in the world.

NVDA stock is the most expensive it has ever been.

And the stock price is… undervalued?

Choo! Choo!

Do you recognize this title?

The more I do this, the more the markets rhyme.

The president says lower ’em.

But his new Fed chair is raising ’em.

Let’s take a look at both arguments,

Are we blazing ’em or glazing ’em?

Shut up about your long-term growth.

If I wanted paper profits, I’d buy a Monopoly board!

If you don’t understand why seemingly good news means bad news for stocks, you can find out with my simple game.

The definitive answer to the age-old question.

The CLARITY Act was in the news this week, causing a Bitcoin breakout!

Will they pass it?

Won’t they pass it?

Honestly, it doesn’t really matter. The real question is…

Do you want to read 30 single-spaced pages of a shareholder letter?

No way.

So this is…

Is it:

A) Peace in the Middle East

B) A new economic policy of the president

C) A technical golden cross over resistance

D) Tesla missing expectations on quarterly earnings

With all the hyperscalers reporting their earnings, let’s take a look and see who is crushing it and who will bankrupt themselves with too big of an AI spend.

How to insider trade?

Isn’t that illegal?

Not anymore!

It’s been a year since K-Pop Demon Hunters and Wall Street is saying the stock ain’t Golden.

So what has this streamer in the Upside Down?

Then I’m sure you’re familiar with the lingo:

“That’s cap.” 

But what stocks are the fraudiest frauds in the market right now?

Happy Independence Day! Welcome to The July Four. I hope you just finished chowing down on some hot dogs and watching some fireworks, as the Founding Fathers intended. These are the four best stocks you can buy right now, in July.

Did you see crypto is down more than 50% the past twelve months?

Never a better time for the hardest diss track since Hit ‘Em Up.

Hold on to your butts because we got a five-way battle for market supremacy featuring the five most valuable companies in the world:

Nvidia vs. Google vs. Apple vs. Microsoft vs. SpaceX