SpaceX Does It All… Other Than Make Money
Welcome to the Schmoozeletter Blog. Your source for weekly water cooler wisecracks from the world of finance. If you have an opinion different than mine or a topic you want to hear about, let me know!
This week, we’re talking about:
SpaceX Does It All… Other Than Make Money
The biggest finance news of the week wasn’t that chip king and current market cap champion of the world, Nvidia, blew away earnings.
85% annual growth?
Almost $50B of quarterly free cash flow?
Pffft. Boring!
Investors don’t care about real numbers anymore. No, no.
The biggest finance news of the week was that Elon’s SpaceX did its first public filing, and it is juicy!
Let’s go to Space… X.
This is…
SpaceX Does It All… Other Than Make Money
Boy oh boy, do I love an Elon SEC filing. A lot of companies just put up words and financial projections. Not Elon. Pack it full of spacey pics!
All these were in the filing:
No need for financial information! I’m ready to invest!
We had some classic, petty Elon jabs at other companies:
Macrohard!
You get it!
Who needs Microsoft?
Elon’s making Macrohard.
Suck it, Bill Gates.
I’m sure those two had a good chuckle on Epstein Island together over that one.
We had our typical Elon self-dealing:
In three months, SpaceX bought $131M of Tesla Cybertrucks at full price!
No discount?
I guess you have to get at least one of your companies profitable somehow.
We had our usual insane Elon projections:
“Hey Elon, how much revenue do you think you can pull in?”
$28.5 Trillion.
This is a Dr. Evil from Austin Powers number.
How much money can we bring in?
Just a quarter of ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD.
Mwahahaha.
Oh, Elon.
And we had our customary insane Elon valuation:
They are looking to IPO at about a trillion and a half dollars, which would make them the size of Zuckerberg’s META.
So surely Elon’s Rocket Co. has comparable financials and this isn’t purely based on hype, right?
META had revenue of over $200B and net income of over $60B in 2025.
SpaceX has got to be in the same galaxy, right?
Hit me with the financials!
The soon-to-be SPCX had revenue of about $19B and a net loss of $4.2B.
Sad trombone sound.
Only one segment, Connectivity, which is the Starlink internet, is making money.
For SpaceX, Space ain’t so profitable.
Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
Then there is the AI segment, which includes the website Twitter, the chatbot Grok, and all of the AI compute spending.
This lost $6.4B last year.
Zuckerberg’s META is down 6% because he is spending over $160B in AI infrastructure this year while his company brought in $200B.
Elon is expecting to be the toast of the town for his $13B spending on the AI segment while it brought in $3B.
There is lots of other bullshit, like how:
Elon owns 42% of the company but controls 85% of the voting power.
Only about 5% of the shares will actually be publicly available.
Major insiders can’t sell their shares for 366 days.
Shares get unlocked in tranches based on the share price instead of all at once.
The entire thing is structured so there is a very limited supply of shares, making it easy to pump the price and make Elon as rich as possible, despite the company not even being profitable.
And as usual for TSLA, I mean SpaceX, investors are asking the important questions:
Final Thought
“The average person buying IPOs is going to get creamed.” – Charlie Munger
