Who is Chad?
Welcome to the Schmoozeletter Blog. Your source for weekly water cooler wisecracks from the world of finance. If you have an opinion different than mine or a topic you want to hear about, let me know!
This week, we’re talking about:
Who is Chad?
You know what the youths like?
Roided-up, douchily coiffed-haired alpha male types and gambling on crypto.
This is…
Who is Chad?
Who or what is Chad, you might ask?
How about don’t worry about it, soy boy, and stop being a broke beta loser!
Chad is cool!
Chad gets paid every day!
Chad has a big buy button on his desk like a real man.
CHAD is the newest crypto treasury-backed preferred stock on the market that is boasting…
DAILY CASH DIVIDENDS!
If you are confused about this stock or how it is paying money every day, look no further than DeFi Development Corp.’s comprehensive slide deck on CHAD.
CHAD: Payday is Everyday!
You’re poor.
You’ll always be poor.
CHAD pays 13%!
Where’s the money coming from? All our crypto! Duh!
How long can we pay? Over a century, bruh!
In conclusion, CHAD!
In case that didn’t clear up how it works, their website has a handy calculator for how long until you can buy things like a Lamborghini or a million-dollar NYC apartment.
With only $24k to start and $2,500 per month dumping into CHAD, I’ll have my Lambo in under five years.
So by now, I’m sure you’ve seen all the information you need. I’m sure you’re emptying the bank account and seeing how many loans you can take out to buy all the CHAD you can get your hands on.
Oh hold on…
What’s this?
So how does all this really work?
DeFi Development Corp., the 16-employee company working out of Boca Raton, are the brains behind CHAD. Their company has a lot of the crypto token Solana.
CHAD is the company’s preferred stock.
Preferred doesn’t mean like it’s cool.
Preferred means it behaves similarly to debt instead of traditional stock.
So the company's scheme business model looks like this:
1. Issue CHAD stock and receive USD.
2. Use USD to buy more Solana.
3. Use USD to pay CHAD dividends out.
4. Issue more CHAD stock and receive more USD.
Now you might be thinking, “use the funds from new investors to pay old investors”?
That seems like…
That smells like…
That might be…
Don’t even think about it.
This is completely legal.
Sure it “shares a similar vulnerability”.
But that is only because Mr. Ponzi says he’s gonna pay you!
CHAD says the dividends aren’t guaranteed and can get cut in the extremely unlikely event that…
Checks notes…
The price of crypto drops.
Whew! Good thing that will never happen.
Final Thought
While everyone feared the AI bubble, 'twas the crypto bubble that did us in.
